Choosing a Good Church

My family and I have the unique opportunity to travel the 50 states. We are currently on state #15 and have traveled from the top of Michigan to Key West, Florida. Along our trip, we have found some amazing and great churches.

My wife and I really never faced the opportunity to choose a church in this fashion. Like my wife, I grew up in a home where we went to our parent’s church. Her family changed churches a couple of times. My family never changed churches.

When we got married, I began vocational ministry and though I had various opportunities to serve in different churches, the decision was not purely up to us to where we ended up going. Even then, as a member of the pastoral staff, making a choice based on what constitutes a good church was moot. It was up to me (and the staff) to help a church become a good church.

We make it a point to visit only evangelical, protestant churches. Among those, we visit Baptist, Bible, Evangelical Free, Presbyterian, Christian Alliance and non-denominational churches.

An Important Caveat

It must be stated, up front, when compared to other churches in time, we have it good! Churches were not on every street corner. If you lived on the isle of Corinth, the Corinthian church was the only church available to you. Looking for a good church would be problematic. A hypocritical Corinthian believer could have justified that he was not going to church on the basis that there were no good ones.

We are a blessed country. We live in a society where there is a proliferation of great, mediocre and bad churches. I can attest to that having visited well over a hundred churches in 15 different states, we had better appreciate our temporary freedom to worship as we wish!

Things to Look for in a Good Church

How does the Bible describe a good church?

1 Thessalonians 1:2-10

We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, 10 and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.

 

Friendliness Cannot be Manufactured. Look for a Genuinely Friendly Church.

The mood of a church has a trickle-down effect. If the people are not friendly, the pastor typically is not either. If the people are jokesters and clowns, the pastor may be anemic or a clown himself. If the people are amiable and notice that you are a visitor, chances are, the pastor is as well.

On three occasions (out of over 100), the pastor of the church greeted the visitors. We had a very delightful experience where the pastor greeted us as we came into the church and when we left and the church was over 200 people! The friendliness of a church CANNOT be manufactured by setting up a welcoming committee with nameplates on their lapel. In each of the three occasions, the pastor was unavoidable, genuine and friendly. THREE?? Really?! Only three? Yes.

I have to admit. I am a big clown at heart. I enjoy a good laugh. However, this can become a huge problem that masks an unpleasant reality. Clowns manufacture an environment that lack genuineness. It is not good for a church to rely on goofiness to manufacture a friendly environment. In fact, most times, it leads to embarrassment. With that said, only on a couple of occasions did we face this issue.

On two occasions, we were excited to visit a church. After finding their websites and reading through their “What We Believe” articles, we were sure we found a perfect church. Unfortunately, in both cases, they were horrible. The first church was a somewhat new plant. We visited two Sundays in a row. The first Sunday, the pastor avoided us. He saw us and dodged down a hallway. We thought to ourselves, “Okay, he must have some kind of emergency.” We visited again. The next Sunday, he could not avoid us. Instead, he ran right by us, said, “Hi! Thank you for coming” and dodged into a room. This must have trickled down through the congregation, because the only one to say “Hi!” was the one handing us a bulletin.

About a month later, we found another church that seemed to be the perfect fit! When we entered the doors, we were crammed into a vestibule with 75 other people waiting for a Sunday School teacher to finish up in the auditorium. Perfect! I am sure we would connect right away. People, literally, turned around and chatted with their friends. Not ONE person greeted us. We stood there for 15 minutes with no one interested in making conversation. The service was great, the preaching was good, but the utter lack of friendliness was a trickle-down. The pastor disappeared after the service closed.

Let me wrap up this section is an excellent example. We stretched our choice of churches by going to a church that was in a different denomination. It is an evangelical denomination, but not one that is very prevalent. When we entered the church, the pastor greeted us right alongside his greeters and engaged us in a very friendly, welcoming way. Upon leaving the church, he was right there again. He remembered most of our names and we teased each other when he forgot my name. We went back the following Sunday. Again, he was very welcoming and so were most in the church. Even though, due to some doctrinal differences, we are not able to continue attending, we are still friends on facebook.

Is “friendliness” an important quality for choosing a church? Absolutely. Why? If a church, and its pastor, is not willing to be friendly and accepting when a new family walks in their doors, you can almost be guaranteed that same church and pastor have no desire for the purpose of the church.

The Thessalonians were commended by Paul for “work produced by faith,” “labor prompted by love,” and “endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” So, how did this labor for ministry express itself? Notice how Paul describes them: “joy given by the Holy Spirit,” “The Lord’s message rang out from you,” “your faith in God has become known everywhere,” “they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us.”

Many Don’t Trust God’s Word: Look for a Biblically-sound Church.

The Thessalonian church became an effective church because it was fed the Gospel with passion. The word “gospel” is used in its broadest sense. We tend to think of it in terms of the plan of salvation. It is actually a generic term for the truths of Christ. It is “news that brings one great joy!”

… our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction… And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia.

One of the main reasons for worshipping in a church is to receive a biblical education. That is why one of the key qualifications of a pastor is that he must be “apt to teach.” Finding a church that actually proclaims the truths of Christ, passionately and with power IS a difficult thing. Notice that these three elements must be included: 1) the Truth; 2) Holy Spirit-enabled; 3) Passionate delivery.

After a church service, ask yourself, “Did I need my Bible and do I understand the passage better?” If you cannot remember what was being preached (either because it was full off rabbit trails or just way too long and droning on), chances are you did not get a biblical education.

Every pastor has an “off Sunday.” Ministry or family demands that particular week may have drained him of his ability to communicate clearly. For this reason, if we find a decent church in every other regard, we will give it another service. With the internet, we are able to download a sampling of sermons from different months to get an overview.

We have been to churches with great media presentations, energetic, worshipful music and then a sermon that sounds more like a pep-talk. We have been to churches with struggling musicians and powerful sermons. The churches that are the most disappointing are the ones where the pastor does not trust God’s word.

On one occasion, the pastor droned on and on for over an hour. In his sermon, he explained how “Jesus wept.” In an attempt to regroup his waning audience, he made up a definition for “wept.” He said the Greek means that Jesus’s weeping was one filled with anger. It does not mean that. It simply means that he weeping was profoundly tear-filled. Why did this pastor do that? He didn’t get it from the Greek! Did he make it up on “the fly?” Perhaps. What is true is that he did not trust God’s word.

In this regard, America is in trouble! Very few of the churches we have visited actually have sermons that could be described as “truth-filled, Spirit-enabled and passionate.”

Here are some observations from our worst church experiences. These churches do not trust God’s word.

  • Sermons drone on and one and go nowhere. Pastor not prepared? Probably.
  • Sermons are provocative, interesting but don’t use Scripture. Pastor studying everything else but Scripture? Probably.

Here are some observations from our best church experiences.

  • Sermons are based on a passage of Scripture or a particular topic. Not that they just begin with a passage/topic, but the passage/topic is developed clearly.
  • Sermons where the length of the sermon does not matter. In these cases a 45 minute sermon feels like it is only 20 minutes. Conversely, a 20 minute sermon can be packed with truth and passionate.
  • Sermons that direct you to understanding, grasping and appreciating the message instead of the preacher’s personality.
  • Sermons (or points within the sermon) that are memorable and life-changing.
  • Sermons where difficult, controversial topics are presented so that even our 11 year old daughter says, “Oh! Now I understand!”
  • Sermons where the speaker is not an expressly gifted speaker, but is able to present the Bible clearly.

Churches that stand out in our mind in this regard (Preachers we heard)

Conclusion

Obviously, there is more that can be said about looking for a good church. However, since 2,000 words is more than sufficient for one article, it is our hope to be an encouragement to those who are looking for a church.

Even though America has plenty of churches, it is not an easy job finding a good one! If you so happen to have landed in a good church, count yourself blessed!

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